God Everlasting, Today

Today, I trust God exists.

As I silently prayed this morning, I realized that I believe God exists. I easily rested in this truth, not struggling with questions and fear as I once did. His faithfulness has cultivated a growing faith in me. As I open my mouth in prayer, I acknowledge His eternal nature. He always has been and always will exist as a real and personal being. He receives and gives actions such as hearing and responding when I pray.


Today, I trust God extends grace to me.

Grace is God's chosen method in revealing Himself and cultivating relationship with us. It's easy to downplay the significance of grace because we're trained to gain through our own efforts. This is good when we labor as a productive part of creation, but it is prideful when refusing to humble ourselves before God's gifts. Through pride or self-sufficiency, our sinful nature can often find grace offensive or illogical. 2 Timothy 1:8-9, NASB says,

"...but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity."

God has chosen to have a relationship with me through grace. God determined to begin what He is fully able to carry out. It was His plan from eternity past and affects eternity future. His grace will be sufficient for me today.


Today, I trust that my life is a holy moment for God's glory.

Some days are easygoing, some painful. Other days I am filled with hope, and other days my mind teems with questions. Some days I am full of Him and others, full of myself. Each day I have the beautiful opportunity to resign my will to His, acknowledging that He has a plan for His glory that includes me. No matter how I feel, my situation and emotions do not change this holy moment. My very breath is being sustained by God. He desires my heart to be honest before Him, humbled, and obedient to what pleases Him. And that process might be part of the day's learning opportunity. I am one small star in the scope of the heavens who God created, named, and has purpose for (Isaiah 40:26).


Today, I trust that I am responsible to live for God's glory.

God expends His grace on us so that we can live according to our created purpose. Grace is not God's way of fattening us up for Christian laziness. When our focus is on God's glory and not our own, we connect with our responsibility in God's eternal plan. And more than a responsibility, it is our fullest joy to be a part of God's plan to share the grace we have received with others. Listen to Paul's admonition to Timothy in regards to the gospel message:

Hold the example of sound words which you have heard from me,

in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.

Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us,

the treasure which has been entrusted to you."

1 Timothy 1:13-14, NASB

We guard the gospel so that future generations will be able to hear the same message that Jesus proclaimed. Guard? How? We have a responsibility to understand God's plan (revealed and recorded for us in the Bible), to believe ourselves to be an active part of it, and to act as His children who are entrusted with the gospel and empowered by the Holy Spirit. God's plan for allowing others to hear the good news of Jesus includes our choices to actively live out our created purpose--to know God and make Him known.




(c) Kendra Higgins 2013.

NASB Study Bible. Ed. Kenneth Barker. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1995.

Image courtesy of Maxime Perron Caissy / sxc.hu.

God Everlasting (Psalm 90:1-2)

A sweet friend recently finished reading the Old Testament on her journey through the Bible cover-to-cover. She jokingly drew out her words as she noted the many, many genealogies that listed the families in Israel throughout the OT. We both laughed at her feigned pain, but were genuinely excited. Reading the Bible as a whole is no small goal. It's a chance to watch God interact with every human generation that has and will live.

Can you imagine that one day we will be the names on the list? Someone else will butcher our twentieth and twenty-first century names like they come from a different language. (Get a feel for how strange your name will sound. Mispronounce your name and greet a friend with the wrong pronunciation while you're at it!) Maybe a few of us will have short-lived fame or have our names "immortalized" on paper, metal, rock, or in the light of a computer screen. Most of us will be remembered for a few generations after we die by those who love us. Our names carry memories, but only for a while.

It's discouraging to think of it like that. If you and I gain significance by what others think (ie. what we gain for ourselves at the expense of others), by what can be attained, or by what can be posted or tweeted, we lose sight of the significance of our moment. We lose sight of trusting God for who He is and what He is accomplishing in us. Life is a sacred moment within eternity. God has given it. God sustains it. And one day God will take it away through death.

After Isaac was born to Abraham--a father at the young age of 100--Abraham had trouble with water bullies. He worked a deal with the local king to secure rights to a well that would continue to sustain his family and livestock in a dry land. After the foreign king granted Abraham his rights, Abraham planted a tree and called on El Olam, the everlasting God (Genesis 21:22-34). He recognized God's quality of existing from eternity past and continuing into eternity future. This small victory showed God's help and His ability to keep His promise to Abraham: that land would one day be his. God doesn't skip rocks across the timeline of history. His everlasting nature is part of what encourages us, sustains us, and keeps us looking toward the fulfillment of His promises.

Psalm 90 by Moses is noted as the oldest of the Psalms. Moses was a man with the fear of speaking who God used to confront Pharaoh of Egypt. In trust he wrote:

Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.

Before the mountains were born or you gave birth to the earth and the world,

Even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God.

You turn man back into dust and say, "Return, O children of men."

For a thousand years in Your sight

Are like yesterday when it passes by,

Or as a watch in the night. (vv.1-4)

Moses does not despair in the truth of "from dust to dust." His life was sovereignly appointed for a moment in God's everlasting lifetime. He is not so unique that he trusts God for something new. Instead, he trusts God for being the same as He has been for all people. He is the place of safety and rest to which man can look. Man gains something by looking to Him. And from an eternal perspective, He has always been and will always be God. He can be trusted as a secure and enduring help because that is what He has chosen to do for His gain, His glory.

My encouragement for you (and me) today is to consider how an everlasting God brings hope to the difficult moments, the challenges, the pain, and the unknown you face. God sees this moment and has chosen to be close. But He will not stop to dwell only in your pain or difficulty; He will continue on into eternity and lead you there.



(c) Kendra Higgins 2013.

Image courtesy of Roger Kirby / sxc.hu.

The Naughty List

This time of year, I try to do my best to make Santa's good list, but after this weekend I might have to settle for coal in my stocking. On our lazy Saturday morning, my husband and I sat and shared about our Bible reading of late. He read in Proverbs and I, Psalms. We both encountered an address to or wisdom about the "wicked" or unfaithful person's folly. Being that Proverbs and Psalms were read to the Jewish congregation and not on the street corner to strangers, I wondered, "Who is the fool? Who is God talking about? Is God calling one of His children a fool?"

I assumed the Bible was meaning those outside of the faith community and pointed my finger there. I obviously didn't point to myself. Who doesn't prefer God's encouragement? But my conscience wouldn't let that pass. These teachings were given to the community of faith for edification. The fool or wicked person in the Bible isn't only found out on the streets. I could miss the opportunity to hear what God has to say. He could be talking to me.

Can you see a little of your own heart in these naughty lists?

"Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and thing like these..." Galatians 5:19-21, NASB

"Do not be afraid when a man becomes rich, when the glory of his house is increased;
For when he dies he will carry nothing away; His glory will not descend after him.
Though while he lives he congratulates himself-- And though men praise you when you do well for yourself--He will go down to the generation of his fathers; They will never see the light.
Man in his pomp, yet without understanding, Is like the beasts that perish." Psalms 49:16-20, NASB

"The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, But the soul of the diligent is made fat." Proverbs 13:4, NASB

"...being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful..." Romans 1, NASB


Even though in Christ you and I have become a new creation, it's easy to become impatient when these lists show me that sanctification is a process and not a fully realized result. I don't want to relate to the fool! I don't want to trust that God, in His gracious timing, is overseeing my journey in sanctification and that he will not stomp off in anger because I didn't make the cut...AGAIN. I want the ease of good emotions, happy thoughts, and happy places. I want control. So which would I rather have: my happy place or a more fully realized grasp of God's sufficient grace?

I find encouragement from an unlikely place: screenwriting and movies. Everyone loves a good villain, right?! The best villains are those who are believable and relatable. When I see the villain in a movie, I see little pieces of myself. He's human; he's a family man; he has a secret to hide; he wants to make a better life for himself; he wants to be better but just can't. Remember Gru in Despicable Me? He's a criminal mastermind that gets transformed by three orphan girls. Although the movie has another fun villain, Gru is a villain unto himself because of his unwillingness to love and change. He's fun to relate to and laugh at. That's your assignment! Watch a movie you love and think about why you love the main character so much and why you love to hate (or sympathize with) the villain.

Like the media industry, God uses the fool and the wicked man in the Bible to stir the heart. A Jew or Christian (OT or NT) who doesn't care about loving God with his or her whole self probably isn't going to respond or feel conviction from the truth. But the wise heart gains instruction when fools are reproved. A commentary on Psalm 50 says, "The purpose of these verses [vv. 16-21] is to prick the conscience of God's people so as to make them more responsive to God's requirements of the community. Those who are really interested in being his "consecrated ones" will wisely respond, whereas the wicked will foolishly cast God's requirements of the faith and repentance aside as not being relevant." 1

So, God is talking to me. He's using the foolish and unfaithful to teach me about myself and others. I can have peace when the Holy Spirit brings conviction. I don't have to fear coal in my stocking. I can be confident when I am "tainted" by sin. This is my opportunity to see myself with eyes regenerated by the Holy Spirit through faith in Christ. I can see! This is my opportunity to respond in the way I did when I first believed. I am alive! Oh, friend. God is persistent and good. My beauty began with and is being perfected by Him. He purposed for me to be a whole woman in Christ before the world began and is working toward that purpose. I am free!

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation,

a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim

the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness

and into His marvelous light

1 Peter 2:9, NASB

(c) Kendra Higgins 2013

1 The Expositor's Bible Commentary, Vol. 5. Frank E. Gaebelein, Editor. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1991), p. 377.

Image courtesy of Hazel Bregazzi / sxc.hu.

P.S. - Two books that helped me enjoy the role of the villain so much more are  The Writer's Journey by C. Vogler and The Moral Premise by S. Williams.

Escaping Hypocrisy through the Gate of Grace (2 Peter 1:2-7)

 

Living out grace is not so easy. If I'm honest, I see myself operate by legalism and behavioral modification much too often. I do 'A' and hope that people respond 'B'. If 'B' doesn't happen, I see the ugly side of my heart start to rule my attitude and thought: attention seeking, neediness for approval, the fight for my "rights." It's scary to see what truly resides in my heart, but the Holy Spirit is faithful to continue shaping me in the divine nature (2 Peter 1:2-7). Thank goodness for God's free gift of love as I wrestle with how to apply the gospel of grace to my own heart and carry out the will of God.

Take for example my husband and I. Last night we discussed how to apply both grace and truth to a hypothetical situation. And we got into a fight. I would feel less foolish if it were a real situation. Nope. Just good ol' theory and opinion and self-righteousness. The discussion was based on a hypothetical situation, and we let it divide us for a short time.

It's so easy to want to be heard.
It's so easy to desire calculated responses from people.
It's so easy to demand that I be counted as relevant. (Meaning my husband responds the way I want.)

Ha! Doesn't that last one seem like an inalienable right. I should be affirmed for holding a valid opinion. How dare he! What I didn't mention is that I inwardly rolled my eyes at my husband's perspective and barely listened. I discounted his opinion even before it came out of his mouth because I wanted so much to be right in this made-up-not-real situation. I even confronted him about his "sin" as I fought to be right. I was void of love. But if I word it just right, you'll side with me, feel sorry for me, or start feeling that injustice is in play. I can craftily play the victim and try to get you on my side. I can demand grace without extending it myself and still get others to support me.

Oh the terrible web I wove to look better in my own eyes and in others'! Can you relate?

All it took for me to tuck my tail between my legs was church. I sang about God's free gift of love and His work through Jesus' death and resurrection. I sang about His goodness and melted into the pew, confessing my own sin. Over and over. Not for the sake of more forgiveness, but because even in confession I struggled with defending myself. Waves of grace kept washing over me as God led my heart toward humility. Once home my husband and I confessed our shortcomings and asked for forgiveness from one another.

We, those who love Jesus, have an important role to each other as church family: to remind one another of the gospel and God's wonderful self. Sometimes the best I can do is surrender in my great need for Christ and allow other believers to lead me by the proclamation of the good news of Jesus. And it impacts me anew. Through it my Savior reminds me of the abundant grace already supplied. He invites me to shed hypocrisy--which He hates because it denies His own work on my behalf.

Praise be to our faithful God. Praise be to our wonderful Savior. Praise be to the Holy Spirit who gets His hands dirty in so much ugliness so that something beautiful will result.




Image courtesy of Mateusz Stachowski / sxc.hu.

(c) 2013 by Kendra Higgins

Fix Your Hope (1 Peter 1:13)

Pounding the pavement by starlight this morning with friends, I reunited with my inner adventurer. The cool morning air lifted away the usual burden of bearing up under the heat of the day. I thought excitedly about possibilities and chatting rather than fretting over water stops, salty sweat burning my eyes, and how to handle exhaustion. As I fixed my attention on the starry blanket above, I considered the bigness of God and the excitement of being alive and in His will.

It's funny how a little change can affect outlook. Focused upward, I failed to notice that it must have been trash day. Overflowing trash containers lined the sidewalks. Trash bags and heaps of stuff blocked the path. Soon enough my focus was back on earthly things. Headlights warned of oncoming cars. Garbage smells grabbed my focus as I jumped over a trash bag.

Could this be what Peter was talking about?

...fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

(1 Peter 1:13, NASB)

I doubt that Peter had garbage bins in mind. But he knew about the daily grind and difficulties that believers faced. Persecution was a real threat in the life of a believer who heard this letter read in the church. Within a decade, Peter himself would be persecuted to death under the Roman Emperor Nero's suppression of the Christian faith. Being fixed on hope was more than an expression of freedom and positive thinking like we American Christians would relate to. Being fixed on hope because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ was the only chance a believer under persecution had to persevere. They would need to cling to Christ's example of suffering and Peter's words of instruction.

I recently had a friend who wanted so much to give birth naturally, without an epidural anaesthetic. During labor her good friend, who had already given birth naturally, came to encourage her. She was able to say at the right moment, "You're doing great. You're almost done!" Not many could have coached a woman in labor through such difficult pain, except one who had already been there. Her words were a trusted and empathetic guide.

Peter gives Jesus as the believer's example in handling sin and suffering. Jesus is our trusted and empathetic guide. Peter says to look at Jesus and fix your hope on grace. One who loves Jesus will put all eggs in one basket--grace. The believer looks forward to a life with God that could never be earned and is already theirs. Like a starry sky where we fix our eyes, fixing or resting our hope upon God's grace in Christ allows the present suffering to be an opportunity for beautiful obedience and deepened relationship with the Savior.

Today, I am considering two things:

1. The persecution of Christians is real. Paul's words are given to those who are tasting difficulty, especially persecution because of Christ. I want to be sensitive in my application of this text, knowing that my present difficulties are not so difficult. My life is not endangered by family, community, or a government that despise Jesus Christ. I need to pray for brothers and sisters under persecution. (Want to know more? Voice of the Martyrs / Open Doors)
2. No matter how much I see and experience the garbage-lined streets of a sinners life among other sinners, hope lives. I need to daily remind myself of the beautiful blood of Jesus that was shed for me (1 Peter 1:18-19). Jesus is worthy of praise. Have I praised Him today and set my hope on meeting Him face-to-face very soon?

(c) 2013 by Kendra Higgins

Image courtesy of Just2shutter / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.







Love is Enough (1 John 4:11-12) by Alex Wilks

Hey there, I’m Alex! As a response to God's faithfulness to me, this year I have been asking Him to teach me how to be more faithful. One of the ways He answered my prayer was to allow me to spend 6 weeks in Thailand this summer loving on these precious babies.

1 John 4:11-12  says, “Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us” (NLT).

Just sit with that verse for a minute. Have you ever fully digested that? For those of us who have been called by God and adopted into his family this verse says that when we love others God is being expressed through us. What a privilege!

I spent this summer in Thailand doing mission work with a family who welcomes girls into their home who have no one to care for them. In a foreign country, language barriers present a unique problem to encouraging and discipling others. Because I don't speak their language, I found myself frustrated that I couldn’t lead a Bible study or ask these sweet kids questions about what they learned in a quiet time. Talking with my community back home, I was constantly encouraged to simply love them with God’s love. “Sometimes that’s enough,” they would say.

 

Then I read 1 John 4.

It is enough. What an amazing truth this scripture exclaims: God is love; He lives in me. When I love others, I am expressing God. I am being the hands and feet of Jesus. I am living the gospel. And if you are in Christ, you are too!

I’ve been back in the states for about a month, and I still have moments when I struggle to believe that loving someone might just be enough. I struggle against the need to always find or be the solution to problems. I fight my pride that says, “It is God that they need, but it might be a little bit of me that they need, too.”

 

So, I am asking God to show me when it is best for me to simply love — and more importantly — what it looks like to love with His love. Pray with me that he will continue to refine us so that when we love, it is purely the love of God we offer and it is only because He loved us first.

I pray that you will have the opportunity to love others today and that when you lay your head on your pillow tonight, you will be able to see how faithful God was to use you as He revealed himself to this world.





_______________________________________________

Visit Alex's blog: http://circaeightyeight.wordpress.com/

Never Ending, Unfailing Love (1 Peter 1:6-7a) by Kim Smith

Hi All! My name is Kim Rayfield. I am a wife of just over 3 years to a Navy Supply Officer on the USS Pennsylvania, a submarine, and mother to two precious littles that keep me ON. MY. TOES. Jacob is 2 ½ years and Gracelyn 7 ½ months.

 

Recently I have been up to my eyeballs in diapers, potty training, rocking to sleep, re-rocking to sleep, boo-boo kissing, and toy picking up—only to pick them up again 20 minutes later. (Why-oh-why do I persist in continually picking them up then?!) The words that primarily come out of my mouth these days are:

“No SIR, sister is NOT for hitting.”

“That’s 3; take a timeout.”

“Dude, put your pants BACK ON…people are coming over!!”

If you’re a mother or have worked with little ones, I’m sure you can imagine how busy home life can be. Quiet time with God has been difficult, even rare, over the past three years.  It’s just been recently that I realized how truly dry I’ve become and how much I am craving the Living Water.  Many times I’ve struggled to connect with God in the same way that I did as a single woman in ministry. Do you ever question how to connect with God in the midst of life’s chaos?  I SURE have over the past three years.  I used to have built-in spiritual retreat days and times AT WORK for quiet time with God.  I spent every day in my Bible.  Now I’m lucky to read it once a week.  And I’ve wondered if God and I can EVER have the kind of connection we once had.

In reading over 1 Peter, verses 1:6-7a just kept hitting me between the eyes over and over, “So be TRULY GLAD. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold – though your faith is FAR MORE PRECIOUS than mere gold” (NLT).

 

Be Truly Glad.

 

Be TRULY GLAD.

 

These past three years have certainly tested my faith and my ability to be “truly glad.” I left full-time ministry, got married and got pregnant over the course of less than a year.  During our 3 years of marriage, we moved to Charleston, SC; Pensacola, FL; Newport, RI; spent a year apart while my husband did school and I waited out my pregnancy in Martinsville, IN; and now to Washington state where we’ve spent the last several months trying to re-integrate as a family. I’ve attended several churches, but never long enough to “plug-in.” 

I could go on and on but let me get to the point.  My attitude has slipped to full on WHINY-HEINEY over the past few years.  I’ve blamed God for our deteriorated relationship and not allowed the daily trials of my life to “show that my faith is genuine.”  Consequently, I’ve felt worn out and insignificant, and not sure what to do about it.

 

My son has a children’s Bible that we read at breakfast almost daily. And if I forget…it won’t be long before Jacob is saying, “Mama, mama: GOD BOOK!” The writer of the Jesus Storybook Bible is continually referring to God’s “Never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love.” Seriously, throughout the entire Old and New Testament the writer refers to God’s love for his children in this way. One day, while reading God Book to Jacob it hit me: God is no less present in my life as I wipe bottoms, tears, and yucky hands, as He was when I had the luxury of sitting quietly in a room reading His word and talking with Him.  Our relationship looks DIFFERENT, but it’s no less significant. I may not be able to spend hours in His word but I can invite and welcome Him into every moment of my every day.

 

Okay, so “be truly glad.” I want a heart adjustment. I LONG for one, and I believe that a heart adjustment is the key for me to connect with God more deeply.  God promises in 1 Peter 1:6-7a that wonderful joy awaits, that the trials will not last for long and that the things I go through will purify my faith. I will cling to these promises in the chaos…in the mundane…in the every day.  I may not be able to spend hours in God’s word…but as I tell Jacob and Gracie about his never stopping love, I can ask God to firmly plant that into my own heart. I can recognize His presence in every moment and be thankful for it!

 

 

 

___________________

 

For more information on the Jesus Storybook Bible, visit their website here. Kim was formerly a Children's Pastor and has a good eye for usable and fun materials!

The Gospel Consumed (1 Peter 2:21-25)

"I'm sorry, we just don't have anything for you."
"We'd love to help you look elsewhere."
"No."

I felt rejected like Vivianne in Pretty Woman. Remember the scene where she tries to go shopping and is asked to leave from a shop on Rodeo Drive? In Christ I feel so richly blessed. I have a purse full of grace and wonder at the way Christ is transforming me. In Him I am ready for action and fix my eyes on the wonderful fulfillment of his grace in full measure (1 Peter 1:13). Yet at times I've felt like the body of believers and life situations want to throw me back out on the street.

Why is it that at times other Christians, and even God himself, seem to reject us? We feel cast out rather than welcomed in. We feel lonely rather than surrounded by a community. We feel naked and hungry instead of fulfilled. In these broken moments, the mountain of missed expectations and hurt constantly knock on the door of the heart.

Knock-knock-knock. "Hello, my name is. . .Oh my! You poor thing. Those clothes just aren't fitting for a woman like you. You deserve something better. I have a catalog of distractions here that will make you feel so good about yourself. Let's take a look, shall we?"

Knock-knock. "Good afternoon. I'm selling a wonderful set of self-justification. Yes! They have rejected you, haven't they. Did you know that not everyone is deserving of grace? You have every right to. . ."

Beware of the peddlers. They prey on emotion and sidestep the gospel.

First Peter 2:21-25 offers Christ as an example of how to conduct one's mind and actions in the midst of suffering or trial. Christ affixes his valuation of himself and his situation on the Father. Do you see how evil intent surrounded Him as He hung dying? His circumstances did not reflect His position before God nor did people treat Him with such dignity.


PAUSE   If you find yourself struggling today, or have a place of hardness in your heart from being hurt, find a moment to identify with the Lord in suffering. Tell Him how you are feeling. Unload the layers of emotion and thought, but withhold from placing blame. Acknowledge that He understands the place of suffering, though He was sinless and you are not. The mind can become a playground when we don't acknowledge that God sees our hearts and mind. Learn to stop playing "Tag" and placing blame in this moment. Be a broken sinner and talk to Him about it.


The passage says that Jesus, while reviled, did not revile in return. He did not retaliate because they missed His expectations. He didn't gasp and complain when he was brought to a cross rather than a throne. He expected those around Him to be sinners and to miss the significance of a holy moment.

Can you imagine Jesus being like us?

"You forgot my birthday, AGAIN! I am Jesus, and you forgot my birthday. I hate you!" (Feet stomp off. Door slams. Mary and Joseph stand watching aloof.)

My expectations sometimes place people into positions that God doesn't intend. It's easy to have a bank full of expectations waiting to be fulfilled by God and others, isn't it? For example, last week I mentioned that during my first year of marriage I realized my lust for a title and a position in ministry. This is not a bad desire when ministering to the body of believers matches my passion and gifting. But God and others are not bound by my desire or goals. My desire turned sinful when I required a position to do what only God could. I lusted after a role and not God to affirm me. Feeling rejected from ministry and volunteer opportunities this past year was hard. I never thought I'd be sitting at home so much after spending so many years pouring into my church family.

Yet, I have no right to a particular station in life. And God never intended a station in life to affirm who I am through Christ. Like Christ, I should not demand that others reflect my value and fulfill my expectations. That is business between God and myself. After all, my expectations might look good on the outside, but be motivated by sin--envy, pride, or selfish ambition. This year through missed expectations, I was forced to unpack my heart to understand why I felt rejected from ministry positions and volunteer opportunities, and why I wavered in my emotional control.


PAUSE   Our expectations of others can form a legalistic structure of giving and earning love. Can you see any expectations that are ruling your mind? How do you feel like others or God have failed you? Is your right to these things promised in scripture? Have you sinned against someone by withholding grace? Have you disrespected God by approaching Him with a demanding attitude? Now is a great time for reflection and confession. These ways are contrary to the gospel. We must learn to consume the gospel like babies needing milk. Jesus' work on the cross for us attained peace with God. Are you at peace? Jesus' resurrection from the dead attained for us a new life ordered by grace. Are you giving and receiving grace today?


Friends, we are so fortunate to believe in a God we've never seen. We are richly blessed to have a Savior who walked this earth and reordered all things back to God through Himself. We are privileged to come before God and realize the person we were created to be. We have so much freedom to pursue our hearts' desires through grace. Read the passage once again and watch what Jesus does between Himself and his Father.

Jesus entrusts himself to God. He does not avoid recognizing the sin of those around Him. He knew it and moved forward with grace. You, too, will be affected by others' sin as well as being sinful yourself. Face it. Confess. Forgive. And then entrust yourself to God's good pleasure. He sees our situation. He meets us at the place of difficulty. He trains our eyes to look directly at Him in the midst of His sovereignty that allows difficulty.

My turning point this past year happened during prayer. I finally broke and let faith be the only avenue of seeking a future plan. I cried to God for faith. I wanted faith in Him to guide my steps and to stop looking for a position to affirm that I was still chosen to minister the gospel of peace to others. I stopped trying control the safe box in which ministry would happen. He would be my guide of stepping to the right or to the left. He would guide me to the door I should knock on. And He did.

As an act of celebrating God's grace through Jesus, prayerfully entrust yourself to the hand of God in your moment--this place where you find yourself yearning for God and struggling with the flesh. It is a beautiful place!



(c) 2013 by Kendra Higgins

Next Week

For the next two weeks, we will have two lovely women sharing about their own consumption of the gospel in the midst of life's challenging situations. I'm so excited for you to hear from women who are faithful to Christ and honest about themselves. Please pray for them as they prepare to share!

Curbing An Appetite for Sin (1 Peter 2:1-3)

My first year of marriage has been a blessing bundled in change. After 34 years of singlehood, I married a wonderful man and was grafted into a new lifestyle. I previously ministered within the church in various jobs with titles such as Secretary, Administrative Assistant, Coordinator, Intern and volunteer. I even landed a job as a Sorority House Director for many years, living in the house with the gals as a platform for loving them in the name of Christ. I devoted much of my time to pursuits that hit my life's core values and interests, and reaped the rewards of having such titles. I could focus my attention on what mattered. People knew me, recognized me. People sought me out. Those titles and roles stood as an open door to direct people my way.

After a lovely piece of metal and rock adorned my finger, I set my course to plan a wedding in a few months time. (When you're single so long, who wants to wait?!) I left my beloved job at the sorority house. I stepped aside from church-based ministry. And I began to let God's current of change sweep me away.

One year later I've ridden the rapids of how much I loved myself way too much and struggled to navigate around an invisible existence. ("Invisible" meaning unable to attain the attention I wanted for myself.) My previous titles blessed me with open doors to minister to hearts the Lord directed toward me, but they also served my sinful appetite of being known. To be recognized by people is a tool God can use for influence. But the human heart has an appetite for sin, even in the midst of holy pursuits.

Cast Off
This is why Peter, in his letter to the churches, instructs churchgoers to get rid of or lay aside certain behaviors and to crave pure spiritual nourishment so that we might grow up into saved adults instead of remaining immature (1 Peter 2:1-3). As a sinner saved by grace, my desire for sin did not leave me. God didn't wave his magic wand and surround me with an aura of light and angelic singing. I'm as sinful as I was before. I see it. I smell it. I know it. I recognize that I am a new creation in Christ and saved from the guilt of my sin. Even still, I need someone to remind me to quit what is outside of God's will and to hunger after God Himself.

My niece P recently potty trained. It was quite the struggle for her little self. But tasting of something better ahead, she set her mind to conquering the flesh. Her fear of the toilet was NOT going to keep her from getting into preschool. Her esteemed big brother had the privilege of attending preschool as a part of the potty-trained community; she wanted that. She worked hard and earned her letter of acceptance, but P needed to first hear about her need for growth and to understand how to get there.

Crave
Similarly, Peter knows that Christians still need training in regards to spiritual growth. We get tangled, like I did in the esteem of titles and attention. But if we direct ourselves to the growth that Peter encourages, the Holy Spirit will help us recognize that in Christ some thing are no longer needed or acceptable. We do not need to entertain evil in our minds, to envy one another, to speak against and criticize one another. Instead Peter commands us to leave that behind, to love sincerely and to ingest what is spiritually pure. First Peter 1 explains that what is pure comes from God and is directed by the Holy Spirit: God's chosen revelation of Himself through the prophets, the teaching and testimony of Christ, and the good news of salvation preached by those who believe.

Today, I invite you to let the Holy Spirit minister to your heart. Take a moment to consume what is spiritually pure: repeat the good news of Jesus to yourself, listen to the Bible and pray. He will reveal what you need to lay aside and walk away from today. Be encouraged, God will not hold against you the fact that you don't desire what is good in the first place. That's why the Holy Spirit was given to you as an encouraging gift--a revealer of sin and builder of holiness. He is equipped with the power of change.

Let Jesus be the glory you walk towards.





(c) 2013 by Kendra Higgins

I am Responsible to Be a Part of the solution

Sometimes we hurt because the church is struggling. Or we hunger because something in our spiritual community is lacking. It's easy to look to the church for our needs or to criticize during hard times. God designed the body of believers to be a place for spiritual growth, healing, and fellowship, and we often expect the church to design the perfect situation for certain types of spiritual experiences. Yet, the responsibility of spiritual growth and connectedness does not fall solely upon church leadership. We, the bride of Christ, must accept our own responsibility in fostering community within the church.

We follow and submit to godly church leadership by giving of ourselves. We grow in fellowship by serving and gathering together. That should happen within the church building and beyond--in the places we work, live, and play. Our yearning for community may never be satiated by attending service at a megachurch on Sunday morning. We need to be in Christian fellowship in deeper, face-to-face ways where both accountability and celebration happen between believers.

The leadership of the church cannot facilitate this for every person. Programs and events may help, but ultimately the climate of the church and the community fostered among the people depends on the congregation as they grasp their biblical role. Yet, honestly, we often want church leadership to foster community for us or to be selective about the types of believers we rub shoulders with.

Let's face it. Greeters at the door are wonderful in setting the first impression and welcoming. Severs at the coffee and information counters help us feel served and important. But sustained fellowship and belonging in the community comes from one's personal investment. We sacrifice for those things we find most valuable.

I guess I have been exposed to many conversations and witnessed much change as people long for community and set out to find the perfect fit in other local churches. I'm plugged in and serving, but felt the desire for better connection myself. I considered leaving. But ultimately, I decided with the Lord that I want to be a part of the solution for my church. I could go elsewhere, and would feel more comfortable in another setting, but I'm up for the awkwardness if it means we grow together. This mix of people; the normals and the crazies, the loosie goosies and the rigids; are my church family. We share Christ in common among our community.

And I am responsible to be a part of the solution.

Love that Never Fails

A few months early, you welcomed me into the world. My first breaths sustained by your hand, and you gave me a name that finds its fulfillment in you.

Though my earliest memories include hurt and fear and learning to hate, you patiently waited--longsuffering because your hand would redeem.

On a farm you trained me to be free, to dream without limits, to love family, to see you in creation, and to run. And in a small town you taught me about a Savior named Jesus who died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins. But you must have seen the trials ahead, because you breathed into me that day a peace I'd never known. A memory to mark my path.

You transplanted me in Kansas and welcomed me into the family of God. I never had to search for you. You drew near and affected the world around me, enveloping me in the great joy of my life--your church, your children.

You were patient to let me grow and fail. You trained my heart and mind in your ways, though we spent our time acquainted with failure. And the enemy fought hard. I often went to him, though I loved you. Life became a torment, but like Hosea, you stood your ground next to this adultress.

Days of blackness and sin prevailed. I asked you to die and hated the life that you breathed into me each day. You refused to quit. You are a jealous God.

You continued to love me. And your patience came to an end. You sent your representative and gave me a choice. I chose to live.

Affirmed that my life would be spent knowing you, responding to you, learning to love you...I prepared for a life of service. But you had to change my hands and heart.

You gifted me with discernment and showed me the reality of my union with sin, my eyes opened wide. You stepped with me into the lion's den, but did not let them prevail nor allow fear to consume. Terror looked me in the face, but friends came alongside me.
  
The sins that entangled me became their entanglement, too. They shared with me in the fight for life and the putting on of a new garment. Because of your children I am no longer a slave to sin. You taught them to love like you, and so they have loved me.

Your discipline, your love, your name breathes life into me.

What more could I attest to than your unfailing love? To what could I give my life outside of your relentless pursuit? My life is hidden in you.

To my friends, my family, and to any I meet. Please keep in mind the order of love that I now know:
The one whom I love has first loved me.

I tie my shoes with a double knot

Need more faith. Wisdom. Boldness. Singleness of heart. Vision. Relentless passion. To lay all things aside. And pick up my calling. To run the race that is uniquely mine. To suffer road rash and fatigue with hope. No looking back. Running toward my rest. And jumping the cliff. Free falling. The power of God my confidence in weakness.

I tie my shoes with a double knot.

Who is God?

This morning I asked my 5th grade girls, "Who is God?" They wrote their answers on paper and gave them to me:

My savior and messia
Our creator and leader
God is are savry
Our lord creater and savior
The alpha, the omaga, the mighty creator
Savior
Are savior
Our saviour
King of all kings
My savour
God is the creator
God is our creater
My savyor all myty, Jahova, love
God is the creater of all
God is are wholey father that created us and loved us instantly
The Lord all middy
God is a savior

What great voices these young people have! I pray that their hearts will learn to love Jesus with everything they've got.

Returning to the Place of Failure (Joshua 8)

To the ladies of Route 56.

Ugh! Do you ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you stumble upon the memory, person, or place of a previous failure? Even if you try to navigate the situation in a godly way, you can still see your failure face-to-face. In those moments anger, bitterness, or hoplessness can get the better of us--it hits where it hurts. And why does it hurt? Maybe because as much as someone else may have failed, we've failed, too. And so we face up to the fact that God often lets us return to the place of our failures. (And sometimes, when we are without fault, God lets us return to a place of pain for healing.)

I've lately been wondering, and honestly confused, how to navigate my mind around this familiar place. It seems like the same place I've been before. I seem to have the same shortcomings. But I know God has allowed me here. And the result doesn't have to be the same. He has changed me and taught me, so I'm not locked into my past failures. Through grace I get another chance. What seems like the "same old" is really a new opportunity for faith and the extension of the gospel into daily life.

In Joshua 8, that's what God did to the Israelites. The sin of Achan caused the whole Israelite army to flee like squealing girls the first time they faced Ai in battle. Then, fresh after that nasty (and humiliating) beating, God commanded them to return courageously for another try.

Do you notice that God's not questioning the outcome (v.1)? He's confident of what He's chosen to happen to this city. God knows where our hearts need to be, and He leads us there. As we return with Him to the place of our failure, He's not rubbing our face in the mud. We can have courage because He's teaching our hearts to change.

Maybe what looks despairing or frustratingly familiar, or what brings back all the old emotions we once felt, isn't really the same place. God may be helping you navigate through it differently this time--stronger, more sure of the truth, practicing righteousness, etc.

Only you can choose to make the same failure twice. Why not courageously embrace or learn what God would call you to this time? Returning to a place of failure is an opportunity for deeper dependence on the grace you have freely been given through Christ. Let's act on it!

(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

The Really BIG Little Moments - Joshua 5

To the ladies of Route 56.

Sometimes a little moment is so BIG that you enter into it carefully. Respectfully. Almost fearfully. You approach. Take a breath. Walk away--but not completely. Pause. If you're in, you're all in. Time to reapproach....and dive in. Let the moment swallow you whole. You know the cost, but the value of what's ahead is even greater. This is a really BIG little moment.

I can't help but wonder if the Israelites in Joshua 5 understood the bigness of their little moment after crossing the Jordan River. This is a new generation! Why not storm ahead into the Promised Land and take what God has given?!

But God didn't choose to display his magnitude in this moment by physical might or zeal. Instead, he humbled Israel to a place of remembrance and dependence. An unclean, foreign prostitute (Rahab) enabled them to spy out the land safely. The Ark of the Covenant, held by priests - not valiant soldiers, led them across the flooded Jordan River into their new homeland. Once across, the mighty men were weakened by circumcision and healing.

They needed to be weakened. The generation before them, unbelieving in God's ability to accomplish what He promised Abraham (Gen. 12, 15), failed to circumcise their children. This new generation taking hold of the Promised Land did not have the sign of the covenant God required. Their hearts had been prepared by growing up as wanderers in the desert, but they needed to be circumcised according to God's command. A new generation needs to look back in order to remember the how and where ahead of them.

These few chapters hinge Israelite history: the expectation of the past is connected to the realization of God's promise. To grasp the overwhelming success of God's plan, Israel must connect their hands and their hearts together. Faith and action are to be wed. That's what's happening in this moment. And God confirms His pleasure with their action (circumcision) by revealing that His angelic army are present and ready to fight alongside them. The angel raises His sword, a hand and heart in unison.

So, what about you? Can you see what God may be calling your generation to do, connecting your hearts and hands together?

Our really BIG little moment is now. What are you going to do with it?


(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

On the Holy Spirit (Poem 1.1.3. De Spiritu Sancto)

an excerpt by Gregory Nazianzus

He was a man, but God. David’s offspring, but Adam’s Maker.

A bearer of flesh, but, even so, beyond all body.

From a mother, but she a virgin.

Comprehensible, but immeasurable.

And a manger received him, while a star led the Magi,

who so came bearing gifts, and fell on bended knee.

As a man he entered the arena, but he prevailed, as indomitable,

over the tempter in three bouts.

Food was set before him, but he fed thousands, and changed the water into wine.

He got baptized, but he washed sins clean,

but he was proclaimed by the Spirit, in a voice of thunder, to be the Son of the One

Uncaused.

As a man he took rest, and as God he put to rest the sea.

His knees were wearied, but he bolstered the strength and knees of the lame.

He prayed, but who was it who heard the petitions of the feeble?

He was the sacrifice, but the high priest: making an offering, but himself God.

He dedicated his blood to God, and cleansed the entire world.

And a cross carried him up, while the bolts nailed fast sin.

But what’s it for me to say these things? He had company with the dead,

But he rose from the dead, and the dead, the bygone, he raised up:

There a mortal’s poverty, here the incorporeal’s wealth.

Don’t you dishonor, then, his divinity on account of his human things,

but, for the divine’s sake, hold in renown the earthly form

into which, thougthful towards you, he formed himself, the incorruptible Son.

Those Scandalous Christians!

"It is interesting to find that outside of the New Testament, the earliest response to singing among the Christians comes not from one of their own number, but from a Roman official. In the year 109 A.D., during the reign of the Emperor Trajan, and not long after the death of the Apostle John, Pliny the Younger was appointed governor of the province of Bithynia in Asia Minor. In one of his first reports he told the emperor of his contact with the curious sect of the Christians, and of how he had been solemnly assured that their worst offense was in gathering before dawn on an appointed day--no doubt Sunday--to sing in responsive fashion hymns to Christ as God."

by Edward S. Ninde, D.D. in Nineteen Centuries of Christian Song (MCMXXXVIII)

Garden - week 3

This is one of our square foot garden boxes. We've also got a "Three Sisters" mound. Everything except the cantaloupe is growing!

With God as Your Reward

Rise up and take your place.

God is your great reward.

No one will ever satisfy

Like Him who make you whole.

He called you in the night

And spoke to your deaf ears.

Christ so worthy redeemed your soul,

Restored the locust's years.

To whom now do you turn?

Has one man loved you more

Than He who set your life ablaze

Amid the winter storm?

How far has he removed

Your punishment from you.

How purely white you have been cleansed

And washed with grace anew.

Rise, O, rise, child of God

To take your place and lead

A faithful generation home

With God the one you please.

(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

Definitely has some rough spots....not my favorite....but rewarding to write.

Love and Justice

8.6.8.6.

God's justice satisfied at last

On Christ the Son wrath poured.

God's perfect love and just demand

Reveal His nature pure.

He raised from Adam's curse of death

Our everlasting King.

Almighty God in grace procured

A righteous gathering.

Through faith desire commenced within

Now our affections rise.

Completed He what we could not

And opened blinded eyes.

All hail the King of wondrous works

Whose body bears the scars.

True love's sacrificial gift

And heaven's full reward.

(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

Born Country

My friend Marcy just posted a country video on her blog. It brought back some memories...

No Chairs Inside

8.8.8.8.

The holy priests in garments white
Unending work, no chairs inside
For who could rest from sin's effect
Unceasing flow of blood to let

Sufficient grace, Christ's offering
One final priest and last Lamb slain
His work completed once-for-all
He sat to rule and stayed the Law

Death passed by me, forgiveness mine
All glory to the risen King!
In stone no more God's precepts writ
For on my heart reads truth divine.

No chairs inside this heart so changed
I stand to meet the Christ I love
My will with His, my passions raised
And eyes so fixed on Him enthroned.


(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle. Inspiration from Hebrews 10.

Could I But Earn My Savior's Love

8.6.8.6.

Could I but earn my Savior's love
by striving to repay?
Could I preserve eternal robes
so well His favor swayed?

My inner lot shall not redeem
Salvation's costly gain.
Nor will I buy the right man's eye
For holiness to feign.

I can't dismiss my ransom paid,
Eternal Son came down.
His flesh for mine, perfection slain,
My guilt in Him atoned.


(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

To Harbor Safe

S.M.

Angels sing of glory,
While earth in labor waits.
Christ's melody of faithful love
Guides ships to harbor safe.

Though the sky is empty
And evil takes its stand,
My eyes hold to the cloudless sky
To see the Son of Man.

I will wait for Glory.
Yes, I will watch for Him.
My heart beholds salvific love
Secured by gracious winds.


(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

Words to Speak - In what do you delight?

What will our words earn us
Before the throne of God?
Will not the grand and certain boast
Deserve the wrathful flood?

Words of deepest marrow
Let spill from open lips.
Confession tunes our hearts to God
And quickens willful steps.

Leave your chains of safety.
Delight in God most high.
He pours His praise on faithful men
And hears their rightful cry.


(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

Part of this Psalm was written in response to my thinking on Psalm 37.

Revive Me

7.6.7.6.

Revive me, O God, revive.
Let these empty bones live.
In lovingkindness keep me,
My feet secure from whim.

To You, O Lord, I listen.
Your words embody truth.
What other voice would I trust
For wisdom's good rebuke?

With weakness in this vessel,
My feet are prone to run.
But let your Word still my heart
And tune my ears to One.

(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

Inspiration from Psalm 138.

God Pomp

8.7.8.7.

Arise and sing to natures King,
Our hope and Lord of Glory.
To Him be praise for world so raised.
With gleaming pride adore Him.

Shine forth your worth with image birthed,
O man you are a wonder.
For purest Light breathed forth man's life.
Exalt the great Creator.

But Adam fell and bent t'ward Hell,
Despising God Almighty.
Imputed sin indebted men,
Not one escapes the jury.

Yet Christ redeemed with death so pleased,
The spotless Lamb forsaken.
His stately tree from bended knee
Invites the weak and broken.

Renown exceeds His gentle deed.
No idol wins such honor.
All hail the King of Victory,
Jesus alone our Savior.

(c) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.

The Eyes of God

C.M. 8.6.8.6.

The eyes of God that see the heart
In righteousness prevail.
Yea man sees not the soul's great worth
And reckons man to fail.

But neither sin or scoff will part
God's vow of selfless love.
For sure behind the christened lot
He veils His holy Dove.

Complain we not for His name's sake
All laud belongs to Him.
Each one we came with empty hands
No payment for our sin.

All kin by faith, beloved throng,
Pronounce the sacred head.
We are the church who stands as one
Through resurrection wed.

(C) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.


God humbled me recently through a brother's brokenness. My response to his weakness contrasted the frustration I sometimes feel. Philippians 2:14-16 brought conviction about my attitude of self-righteousness. Disunity has no place in the church of Christ. When I judge according to my sinful attitude, I look past the child of God and to the failure I assume is his. As the church, we need God's Word to bring us truth in the midst of relational difficulties.

The Road to Zion

10.10.10.10.

Shadows fall long on this dry, dusty road.
Pathway to Zion its mystery holds.
Highest of mountains before and behind
Carve the valley of weeping, O faith's night!

Long is the path, but soon will be the day
Our rising Redeemer will end night's stay.
His promise of grace enables our eyes.
From strength to strength His ready might supplied.

Now is the day through storms to persevere.
One day before the throne we will appear.
Praise with hope the Father, Spirit and Son,
For our feet on the path that's wrought with love.

(C) 2010 by Kendra Hinkle.



This song has been birthed as I slowly emerge from my own valley of weeping. Psalm 84 ministered to my heart so strongly, and propelled me to consider the Lord's place with me during this time. I will arrive at Zion in strength.

A Song for the Martyrs

Below is one stanza from Martin Luther's song "Flung to the Heedless Winds." Luther started the reformation, which split the protestant church from the Catholic church in the 16th-17th centuries. Many people died taking a stand for salvation through faith apart from works, the place of Scripture as the church's authority, etc. It's amazing to read as you place yourself in the shoes of someone who said goodbye to a faithful saint.

Stanza #9
Flung to the heedless winds
Or on the waters cast,
The martyrs' ashes watched,
Shall gathered be at last.
And from that scattered dust,
Around us and abroad,
Shall spring a plenteous seed
Of witnesses for God.

The Father hath received
Their latest living breath,
And vain is Satan's boast
Of vict'ry in their death.
Still, still, tho' dead, they speak,
And, trumpet-tongued, proclaim
To many a wak'ning land
The one availing Name.