My grandfather died this past week, so I spent the weekend at the family farm where I grew up. I'm glad that I'm part of a family who has a good name - a reputation of hard work, dedication, and loyal friendship.

Randomly Me

I don't know that I ever spend time writing about my personal life. I usually seem to have a purpose in sharing something God-focused. That is good. But I think it misrepresents who I am, if that's all I show you. So, here's my random story for the day.

My friend Peggy and I decided to go walking at the Lake Ray Roberts this morning. We like the trails, though they aren't quite as good as Colorado, Washington state, or the Smoky Mountains. It's mostly flat around here, so we hike with the mountains in our imaginations. The lake is pretty.

On the way, I almost killed us. We were completely on the wrong course at that point. Somehow we were too busy talking to notice a turn. As of yet, we've not made it to the lake as planned even once. Always stinkin' lost in the car. Maybe we'll get it next time.

Anyway, after we figured out that we were lost, Peggy told me to turn left. I confidently prepared to turn right. Peggy pointed out that I was turning the wrong way - which didn't register in my head for a while. Then as I figure out the problem, she decides to tell me we're about to die. I had failed to see the red light.

Burnt rubber stinks bad. I think I burned up most of my brakes.

We eventually got to our hiking spot, after only one wrong turn onto the well-marked "maintenance only" road. And with our luck, the national adventure race championships were being held. We didn't realize that we'd be sharing the path with bikers until we got a mile in. And it was completely muddy. We spent most of the time scaling mud holes and watching out for horses and bikes. But it was a workout all the same.

After about 3 miles, I kept giving excuses as to why we should keep going just a little further. (Keep in mind you have to turn around and cover the same mileage on the way back.) I hadn't brought water or eaten breakfast, so at the very least I was looking at 6 miles. But the turnaround point was just around the corner... just a little farther... see that opening ahead... the power lines mean we're close... I can hear the highway... let's just find the next marker so we'll remember how far we got next time... the cows mean there are houses and the road must be close... the trail markers are getting closer together and that means we're getting close... My ridiculous reasoning went on and on. But she didn't draw the line, so we kept on caking mud to our clothes and wading through the bogs.

Eventually, I pointed out the water tower 20 miles away and said, "See. We're almost there!" By that point delirious laughing was all we could do. We both wanted to get to the turnaround and enjoy some civilized facilities before having to turn back around. We could sense we were so close! A woman's intuition should never be questioned.

Ten miles. We went 10 miles total.

At one point I decided I needed to pray for food and water because we both have issues with low blood sugar. Just as I started, "Okay, Lord..." I realized I was passing a water bottle in the brush. It just so happened that it was an unopened, didn't expire until 2011, bottle of Ozarka water. I inspected the seal. Totally unbroken. Someone must have dropped it.

Thank you, Jesus! I would have gotten pretty sick without water on the way back.

There was also a Red Bull in the parking lot at the turnaround, but we decided against the sugar content. We were pretty close to having it, though. Desperate times call for desperate measures. =) It was noon by then, and we'd been going for over a couple of hours.

Four hours later, we returned to the car moving slow motion and caked in mud. We were silent. Too tired to talk. Mission accomplished.

So I got home and made breakfast at 3 pm - scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast.

Grace Demands Grit

Unless you are one of the women I have discipled, my commendation might usually be a safe and well-planned route in life. I would not want to direct you to stupidity. But if I have spent time with you and allowed you to see how I live out my priorities and decisions, then I cannot hide the fact that my life is not safe or comfortable in many ways.

I am driven by grace. Shown mercy and made new - I'm not who I once was. Walking down a hallway when I was 17, I responded to that grace. Somehow. Within. I affirmed the stirring on my heart that working for the glory of Jesus would be the path of my life.

No career.

Just a dream of serving God with my life, my desires, my grit.

Through this commitment, and with grace leading me, I faced my fears within men's and women's prisons. I fed misplaced friends with my last cans of food. I packed my car with the unsettling question, "Where will I sleep for two weeks?" I shared my faith in China and fell sick. My list, and your list, I'm sure could take up pages. But in every one of them, the grace of God drives us. And, for me, I struggle with my flesh the whole way. These choices in faith demand grit.

But what about the daily, mundane, and unromantic moments? When I need to confront in love. When I ask for forgiveness because I'm a jerk. When the commitment interrupts my sleep. When my budget just doesn't cut it. Even here I have to live with grit and look to the enduring joy that is mine in Christ.

Living out grace demands our grit. Every commended Bible man or woman had true grit in life. The path wasn't easy. Difficulty abounded. But joy remained.

God Verbs

God lives.
God speaks.
God creates
and God breathes.

God sees.
God knows.
God stepped down
and God imposed.

God hung.
God prayed.
God reached wide
and God saved.

God calls.
God seals.
God anoints
and God heals.

God holds.
God names.
God loves you
for glory's sake.

God sends.
God serves.
God unites
and God endures.


(c) 2009 by Kendra Hinkle.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Tonight as I said goodbye to the Dallas skyline, I decided to keep the car stereo off. I don't prefer to hear myself sing. But sometimes you just have to respond to who God is and what He's done.

My women's class covered word-smithing. So my mind was ready to choose good, strong verbs. My song became. . .the God verbs. I recommend making your own song, but here's mine. I stuck with one syllable verbs mostly. Sorry there's no tune! I'm not sure how to communicate that. You'll have to make a new one up for your own song.

Have fun with your God verbs!

The Old Things...A Quote by J.C. Ryle

It is easy to use them in a cold and heartless way. The very familiarity of them is apt to make us careless. . . Let us strive to use the old prayers, and sing the old hymns, and kneel at the old communion rail, and hear the old truths preached, with as much freshness and appetite as in the year we first believed.


J.C. Ryle, Holiness (written pre-1900)

On Holiness. . .

"A man may go great lengths, and yet never reach trule holiness. It is not knowledge--Balaam had that: nor great profession--Judas Iscariot had that: nor doing many things--Herod had that: nor zeal for certain matters in religion--Jehu had that: nor morality and outward respectability of conduct--the young ruler had that: not taking pleasure in hearing preachers--the Jews in Ezekiel's time had that: nor keeping company with godly people--Joab and Gehazi and Demas had that. Yet none of these was holy! These things alone are not holiness." (34-35)

"And this I do boldly and confidently say, that true holiness is a great reality. It is something in a man that can be seen, and known, and marked, and felt by all around him. It is light: if it exists, it will show itself. It is salt: if it exists, its savour will be perceived. It is a precious ointment: if it exists, its presence cannot be hid." (39)


From Holiness by J. C. Ryle (Fleming H. Revell Company, New Jersey).

P.S. Not sure I agree with Ryle's full opinion in the book, but was struck by these quotes.

Until Heaven is Home

God once breathed and created;
wind of life birthed the ground.
Hands of splendor formed man's image;
Ruling earth, a servant crowned.

Yahweh spoke and chose a nation,
Set a king upon her throne.
Though expelled in sin - expect, remember.
Cloud and pillar led Israel home.

Immanuel came to call the nations;
Humility's garment enwrapped a child.
Justice and compassion intermingled,
Upon the Son His wrath not mild.

Little ones gathered with bated breath,
Raised for heaven, called from death.
Spirit moved and walls were shaken;
Ruah anointed the fellowship with oil.

Shout and dance --
God resides among His people.
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
With the saints today are found.

Stand up, honor, adore your Lamb.
Our time is short to make Him known.
Praise the Lord wholly invested!
Praise Him until heaven is home.


This is a personal psalm I'll come back to later. Not too fond of it, but working with paralellism and the traditional structure of a Psalm was fun. I've tweaked and changed some of the order...so it really doesn't follow the correct form any more of the Biblical Psalms.

The Conversation in Psalm 51

Cleanse me, because You alone are holy.

Fall on your knees, child of God.

Purify me, for You alone are able.

From within I will restore you.

Breathe into me, so that I may live in your presence.

My Spirit is with you.

Deliver me into joy through brokenness and faith.

For I delight to see my Son living through you.

Your glory on the mountain is a wall for this city.

Don't be afraid. I am in my place to uphold the heart of the righteous.

Spiritual 911

. . .the "first aid" in every spiritual accident is the simple act of telling Him everything.

Lewis Sperry Chafer, He that is Spiritual

I like this quote today. It reminds me of David, of a repentant heart, of the close proximity of God to the sinner.

Your Word

Lord, your word stands before me.
it towers from above me.
my authority.

Lord, your word searches me,
discerns me,
knows me.

your word holds firm,
unbending,
convicting.

Lord, your word humbles me.

your word is love,
discipline,
and pain.

from your mouth
torrents of grace,
today.

your word heals,
cleanses,
hope restored.

from your lips,
truth.

trustworthy.

good.

You.

Guard Your Heart, part 2 (Psalm 139:1-5)

Proverbs 4:20-27 taught us to guard our hearts by humbling ourselves under godly teaching and making daily choices consistent with God's truth. But has anyone else ever cringed at the prospect of godly teaching? I like to receive truth and make my own judgments independently. That's very different from making my life vulnerable, facing accountability, and receiving feedback according to the Bible. Does truth have to be that personal? I like my independent rights as an American!

If I have to be real, then most likely you will see that I'm easily crushed under that kind of honesty, or I puff-up in pride when I receive constructive criticism. The fear of man in me LOOKS like obedience from the outside. But when I'm real, I must painfully admit that the fear of man and sin often motivate my daily decisions.

Psalm 139:1-5 considers the scrutiny of God as a blessing. 

O, Lord, you have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

You understand my thoughts from afar.

You scrutinize my path and my lying down,

and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. . .

You have enclosed me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

To "scrutinize" literally means to winnow. In the time of David (the Psalm's author), farmers harvested grain and beat it out at the threshing floor so that the kernels of grain would break free from the plant. Piles of grain and chaff were left. The threshing floor sat atop a hill, usually a flat place available to the community. As wind blew across the top of the hill, farmers would toss the grain into the air. The heavier kernels would fall to the ground and the light chaff would catch the wind and blow away. Farmers used winnowing as an act of separating the valuable from the worthless.

If someone's path and lying down are being winnowed by the Lord, then they have the blessing of a life being separated into valuable and not-so-valuable components. The Lord actively separates the good from the bad, both in outward actions and in the heart. He leads us to remove parts of life and heal places in the heart so that our spiritual lives will be healthy. They places of healing and removal are like chaff being blown away by the Spirit of God. But other parts have significant value and receive a newfound priority. These build us up in relationship with God and others.

Next, the Psalm says that the Lord encloses us behind and before, and lays His hand upon the psalmists head. Is anyone else feeling a little claustrophobic? I like my space to make decisions (ie. to flex my spiritual muscles), not to be boxed in and held down! But King David found great value in being protected by boundaries. Kings protected cities by fortified walls and strong gates. Shepherds protected sheep by occasionally herding them into pens to keep them from wandering. Protection was an act of faithful and kind love.

Boundaries limit freedom. But boundaries, given by God, also protect our hearts from greater sin. Take, for example, sexual sin that can quickly become a life-entangling addiction. This could be pornography, lust (including emotional lust for women), sexual promiscuity, etc. In American culture today, our rights to practice any of these are considered a private matter. We decide if, when, and how to indulge our desires. But under God's instruction in the Bible, specific boundaries have been laid in these areas, a protection for the dignity of man and the marriage covenant. Even the most private parts of our lives have been given boundaries for the heart's protection against sin.

The Lord's winnowing and His boundaries reveal sin. And that may cause pain, discouragement, or disappointment. Yet, God stays close in faithful love. He presents us with truth, especially in the areas we are not getting what a holy life should be. As we grow, that scrutiny becomes an act of grace -- an effort to draw us closer to Him through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

Is God winnowing you? Is He hemming you in behind and before? How so? May we choose to recognize and proclaim His goodness as He does so in each of our lives.

(c) by Kendra Hinkle 2009.

Scripture quoted from the New American Standard Bible.

Sight for the Blind

I recently shared elsewhere about a blindfold I wear for praying through difficult times of faith. The source of that blindfold is the story below. Keep in mind that now I am in Texas, and have been here for many years:

(written Sunday, February 13, 2005 by Kendra Hinkle)

Be Thou my vision,
O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me,
save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
(8th century Irish hymn)

This past summer, I spent some time playing in the Little Painted Dessert in Arizona with a team of college students. We took off running down the thin pathways of colored rubble, and skated down steep embankments of loosenning rock. After a while there were a few of us left, jumping dry stream beds and discovering fossilized trees while we ran. Off in the distance we headed to a 75-foot drop where you could stand and surf down a crumbling rubble embankment. After my first ride down and ending knee deep in loose rock, I headed up for another try. I gazed about a mile over the landscape, and my innate drive to run began to well up within me. Abandoning a second surf down the hill, I grabbed a fellow runner - a girl on our trip who had already been my adventure partner early in the mornings on the Navajo reservation.

We took off running a new trail through the hills and valleys...keeping an eye to the dot (our van) on the ridge above. Running in that place was a moment I will remember forever. No maps...just pure love for what God enabled us to do. We ran long and hard, and eventually slowed to a walk as we ascended the steeper parts of the trail.

Later that week, we were blindfolded and taken into a van. As the van bumped over rough terrain, a song with the lyrics, "I'm desperate for you. I'm lost without you," played in the background. As I sat there, tears began to stream down my face. The song played, and the memory of the previous run through the Little Painted Dessert played through my mind. There was a God-ordained freedom in that moment of running. No fear. No need for a map. But in my memory, there were no longer two runners tracking among the breathtaking landscape...there were three. I became overwhelmed as I realized that God was with me in that moment, in a very personal way.

The van stopped. Our blind, human chain climbed a rugged trail. Finally, we removed our blindfolds in front of two dead limbs fashioned into a cross. I went off by myself and sat on a volcanic rock ledge overlooking the landscape. I began to sense God calling me to place the blindfold over my eyes both spiritually and physically as I prayed over the decisions ahead in my life, and recited Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowlege Him and he will make your paths straight" (NIV). It was the same verse the Lord had given me four years earlier upon entry into my current ministry situation. Then, He was calling me to contentment in Him in all of the newness of Indiana, and now He was calling me back out.

As the impact of those moments has joined with my situation, I have decided to follow with a blindfold on. Everything I own on this earth is packed into a 5 X 10 space. My suitcases, which will be my traveling companions, are almost ready. The destination: first to the family farm where I grew up. Solitude will retune and deepen my ears for the Lord. After some more trips to see various family members, I will begin to apply and search with the Lord for what He is specifically calling me to.

Lord, be my vision and my strength. My legs are weary, but yours are sure. I cannot see ahead of me, but I have your voice to guide my steps. No one is like you, Lord. There is none who compare.

Scripture marked “NIV” is taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Sometimes...

Sometimes kyaking backwards is an important skill, but you will get very frustrated because I can't navigate well that way and make us go in circles.

Sometimes I get dizzy spells and can't go into the office on time. But I prove I'm sober when get there by walking like on a balance beam and touching my finger to my nose.

Sometimes I forget to zip my fly. Augh!!!! Makes me so mad that I forget so often. Why me, Lord?! Why did I have to get left out of the common sense gene pool?

Sometimes when I'm on walks men stand half naked in their yards and stare endlessly at the sky, or balance on small cement blocks and stare at stop signs. There are some strange characters who live near campus.

Sometimes I do a few pushups.

Screenwriting and Story

Screenwriting might not be my forte, but story is. I'm unearthing some great insight into how I write, read, and speak about God's word, as well as new ways to understand story. The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers by Christopher Vogler is a common text for those in screenwriting and film industry. It's not a book built from how movies are made, but a book resulting from research on how people have told stories from different cultures over the course of history. Many of the movies we see have likely been impacted by people taking cues from this work.

So what is it that draws millions of our dollars, our time, and our attention? Hehe. Read the book and find out. =-)

On a smaller note, the below quote reminded me of how even the small things we do can help people prepare for the story of God as they come to church:

"The great German stage and film director Max Reinhardt believed that you can create an atmosphere in a theatre well before an audience sits down or the curtain goes up. A carefully selected title can strike a metaphor that ingrigues the audience and attunes them to the coming experience. Good promotion can engage them with images and slogans that are metaphors for the world of your story. By controlling music and lighting as the audience enters the space, and consciously directing such details as the attitudes and costumes of the ushers, a specific mood can be created. The audience can be put in the ideal frame of mind for the experience they will share..." (p.84)

I'm not suggesting the ushers wear costumes, and I lean toward simplicity, but at times we could get creative in preparing better for the story we gather together to remember. Instead of simply promoting a church service, why not promote our story along with it? The attitudes of the ushers even!

Down Home

Just a few days before a blind date, my sister posted a whole slew of pictures from our years growing up on the farm. Facebook faux pas! To her credit, I hadn't mentioned the date - but had a good laugh at the timing.

I would be the one in blue, upper left. I climbed more like an ape than a kid. Obviously, my keen sense of fashion started on the farm, too.

It was a priceless upbringing with my sister and cousins. We fished, played in the creek when it rained, ate apples from the orchard, fed grass to the horses, and washed dishes after meals. I love them. They are more like sisters than cousins. The land belonged mostly to our grandparents, and my dad bought a few acres from them.

In the pic, we're playing in a chicken pen-converted-to-playhouse contraption. Growing up on the farm gave ample room for imagination and priority to family relationships.

Lip Tint and Holy

She affirmed, and my heart sank. Can visits to the temple really satisfy the price for forgiveness? Can good works earn you right standing and favor before God? Getting to heaven through good deeds and kindness appeals to my friend's common sense. She says that salvation through Christ alone, offered to those who live bad lives, devalues a life well lived. According to her, we get what we earn.

Our discussion and time in Scripture ended pleasantly, but not joyfully. Seeds planted take time to germinate in the heart, under the control of the Holy Spirit.

How can I explain the nature of who God is? He is holy. His holiness is an attribute. He did not earn it or add it to himself, but exists in that state. So as humans who are included in the "all" of John 3:16 and Romans 3:23, we have been declared sinners. And sinners are not holy. Holiness isn't a trait we can work for or add to ourselves by deeds.

Holiness likens to beauty. Both are traits that pre-exist, and are not added by human hands. Beauty can be enhanced by additions like makeup and clothes and photoshop, but not created by our scheming. Similarly, holiness may be amplified through good works. The holiness of God through a human life is evidenced by actions and behavior, but a sinner cannot add holiness like a Girl Scout badge.

As many hours as I will stand in front of a mirror during my lifetime, I cannot rely on a reflection to measure my beauty. I trust that it is an attribute given to me as one of God's creations. Opinions on attractiveness may vary from person to person, but beauty exists in me through God's hand. Period.

Serving dinners, building houses for the homeless, obeying authorities - all have their rewards. God sees, but he does not call people holy until they believe in Jesus Christ through faith. At that point he reckons to an individual the holiness of Christ. God, who is holy, grants holiness through faith. The works lived out by a person after that point only amplify what God has done in the heart.

While works proceed from a holy life, they are not the cause of holiness. Neither is the measure of a persons beauty solely reliant on lip tint and plastic surgery.

Story

Well, I'm never going to publish. It's impossible. I just can't shut up long enough to wait on a publisher.

I've been working with my main goals for the Bible study in Ruth, and narrowed in on my goal for twenty-somethings as they process through it. I desire for them to clearly understand and be prepared to share about God's redemption story. Little did I know that story is central to the book of Ruth.

I'm reading in the Anchor Bible commentary on Ruth. Edward Campbell spends a good amount of energy looking at the literary structure and format of Ruth. He's convinced the author of Ruth was a genius because of the word plays, poetry, themes, etc. The book truly existed as a story among Israel. How the author goes about the book keeps us involved and anticipating. He's a master story teller recounting a true life story. Partially, it was developed as oral history. So the author isn't creating all of it. But he is using many contraptions to make the story an extremely well-packaged unit.

One of my favorite speakers excells at story and visual imagery. When I listen, I'm captivated. He understands the use of story and visual connection. Because of how strongly it impacted me, I've started to relearn how to deliver and approach teaching.

If we grasp the story of God, we should be able to share it. Not just drop information on people, but involve them in the romance of a loving God, the power of being saved, and the wonder of who He is. This is our God!

So my heart and my research are going in the same direction. It was very humbling to see that God was leading me, and I didn't even realize it.

He loves His story.

Ruth Hiatus

In seminary this Spring 09 semester, I will be completing a Bible study book on Ruth. As much as I'd love to write on the blog, the quantity and pace of writing will be difficult. Hopefully I can drop lines here once-in-a-while. . .

Ode to Amber

Amber is the kind of girl who will be your friend for life. She will watch movies with you, dump cold water over the curtain when you shower, and sleep outside the bedroom door when you are deathly sick. She likes to play in the snow and play at the prison in Jesus' name. And she will call your cell phone pretending to be a man. I like Amber. She's my friend.

She likes dogs and kids and yelling loud. And its OK if you don't like to yell. She can do it for you. Her mom makes killer Chex Mix. She is crazy fun. She likes to call you when drunk men are banging on her door in the middle of the night and she's waiting for the police. She likes Phil, Jill, and Will as names for apartment plants. And when you kill it because your office has no windows, she will save your ivy plant. She has common sense. She likes to work hard, do youth ministry, play softball, and visit families in Kansas. She'll even ride in your car with gasoline fumes and sparks, with the possibility of death. She loves Jesus and prison inmates. She'll go to your family farm and climb trees, too.

Amber is a true friend. She will put up with your desire to rearrange all the furniture every few months. She will help hold the loveseat from falling from the second floor though it has been impaled by the bannister because you weren't strong enough to lift it up and over. She won't make too much fun of you when you get mad at the Jello after surgery. She will cry with you when the kitten you almost adopted gets sold. And she will be a sport when you wake her up to tell her what you learned. She'll share with you honestly. And best of all, she'll tell you "don't go". . .just to see how long it takes before you stop giving in and actually go.

It's a good thing Amber is my friend!

Ever Increasing Wonder

Like a fat black “REJECTION” stamp right on my forehead, the letter read:

Adverse Action Notice
Action Taken: Requested Credit Denied

Car shopping isn’t quite as fun as I hoped it might be. I almost had a sexy, stormy grey set of wheels. The nicely quoted price and mediocre financing crumbled upon my head just after I asked to see it all in writing, instead of signing on their dotted line. The day was one fiasco after another in paperwork – an uphill climb that culminated with a cliff instead of greener pastures. I had been bamboozled.

But God had helped me prepare for the day. Not setting my heart on the car, I walked through the dealer’s doors content to wait upon Him - though the purchase seemed like a sure plan. More than helping me to be prepared, each fiasco that arose in the paperwork slowed the process down and gave me courage to speak up amid the frenzy of six people all working my sale.

God has a way of protecting us from what we do not see. In the whirlwind, I gained breath enough to refuse my signature and say, “Wait. Not yet. I want to see this all in writing.”

I walked out the door without a car.

Back at square one, I did more research and planned for another full day of car shopping around the metroplex. Before I took off for the city, I gave into the thought that had been on my mind since I first visited a particular dealership. A salesman there needed to see God at work, and I had a strong feeling that I should return.

I wanted to roll my eyes. “I have been to the lot, Lord. They don’t have what I’m looking for.” But I called the man and asked to look around one more time, fully planning on driving on my way into the city to get the real shopping under way.

Long story short – I bought a car before I even left town.

But in the process God did some amazing work before the salesman’s eyes. I had told him of my experience at the last dealer – how I had prayed and how it had all gone wrong. He later recounted that “something” told me not to go through with it.

I thought, “That ‘something’ is about to begin to show you that it is a Someone who is very real.”

Prospects on my loan were not favorable because of no credit history, and he was honest with what they were expecting to hear back from banks. I suggested we take a break for lunch while waiting on one banker to return a call with my sealed fate.

I began petitioning the Lord for favor from this banker and for its witness to this salesman about the Living God. I smiled so big when he called me back into the office to say, “I’ve NEVER seen this happen before.” My situation and the low interest rate completely broke all the normal trends. (I've not yet found anyone who hasn't been surprised when I tell them.)

When it began unfolding and I saw his response I thought, “Mr. Salesman, let me introduce you to that “something,” who really is a Someone called God.” I didn’t share the gospel, but seeds were planted. What an exciting day!

That big fat rejection letter I mentioned above. . . I got it after I bought my new car. Rejected credit was another thing the other dealership hadn’t told me about. But reading the letter made me smile. That closed door was perfect and good. God had a plan in store so much bigger than my own transportation needs. My heart is ever increasing in wonder of my amazing God.

He cares.
He loves.
He lives.

He is revealing Himself.

deep southern roll

I got a ticket! An elder from our church was sick, so I took his spot.
=-)

Denver Moore, whose early life was spent on plantations picking cotton, didn't speak much. He gave a poignant and quick word with wisdom that God allowed the homeless streets to teach him, then closed in song. The kind of song that spills off your toungue with the rhythm and sound of a slow but hopeful train - full of soul, a deep southern roll with moments of shrill reality.

same kind of different as me.

Ron Hall and Denver Moore will be at our annual community prayer breakfast on Thursday as the keynote speakers. I am so sad that I waited to get a ticket! Seating is at capacity.


The hope of attending motivated me to read the book this Saturday. The book engaged me so well. I was sweating in the heat, pulling cotton in Louisiana and watching people file through the food line at the Fort Worth homeless shelter. My heart broke, too, at the recognition of suffering and loss.


The book helped me to prayerfully remember and to focus on what God called me to do on this campus in His name. I remember the moment of walking through it with selfish pride in my heart and hearing God whisper, "Feed my sheep." Though it was far from the purpose of the book, I grew in conviction of my place to feed Christ's sheep in the campus where I live.

Guard Your Heart (Proverbs 4:20-27)

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. (v. 23)

I’ve often struggled in what it looks like to love the Lord with all of my heart, soul and mind. Jesus said that doing so was obedience to the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37). What comes out of our hearts when we love God, through our relationship with Christ as Savior, is the second greatest commandment. We are enabled to love our neighbors as ourselves. Those who annoy us, serve us, teach us, hate us, or who desperately need us to act - we can love them all because we as sinners have been loved.

Our heart is the seat of an obedient life, and it impacts our ability to sync with the will of God. Both Christ in the New Testament and Solomon of the Old Testament considered the heart to be a significant factor in our relationship to God. We must protect it so that what comes out of us is the life of the redeemed in Christ, not a life controlled by sinful desire.

Proverbs 4:20-27 offers some practical wisdom on how to guard your heart so that you can live wholly devoted to God in Christ. How do you disallow sin to be your driving force for decisions? How do you practically allow the Spirit of God to minister to you so that you can continually behold new life in Christ?

First, Proverbs commends a wise son (just as applicable to a daughter) to receive instruction. This doesn’t mean you wait around for someone to confront you on sin in your life, or that you idly rest in nominal Christianity. In Proverbs, wisdom must be sought after as a treasure. That means you have to situate yourself in a place to receive instruction and give honor to what is good. You actively humble yourself to faithful Christians who are more wise than yourself. Where have you placed yourself? Under whom are you learning to be a perseverant saint?

Secondly, you choose a straight path. This means that daily choices reflect the same values as when you sit in church. They are based on a redeemed relationship in Christ. Walking a straight path is difficult when your heart is not fully devoted to God. Most of us choose devotion to ourselves, love interests or even food – much more readily than we do Christ. Our choices should reflect our devotion to God in Christ, a place of humility as God’s grace is heaped upon us to do what is right.

It really is that simple. Humble yourself to a place of learning, and seek out a Biblical teacher who will instruct you on a faithful Christian life. And start making choices that keep you on the right path, a protection for your heart in Christ.

(C) by Kendra Hinkle 2008.

Ugly

Lord, my ugliness is buried in your beauty. I am so grateful that you bear my sin and shame. May you increase as the one-and-only in my life.


My small group has been writing "Letters from Your Tempter," which focus on a particular sin area each of us struggles with. We take turns composing a letter in the style of C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters. Prayer and discussion ensue. The experience has deepened our connections and vulnerability in a very creative way. We celebrate. We cry. I love this!

Top of the Food Chain

My trusty 1993 Ford gracefully pulled up to a four-way stop. No cars to the right. No cars to the left. Squirrel on the left. Squirrel approaching. What!

The only car around and a squirrel decides to run up to my car and the open driver's window. He's got a nut in his mouth and seems to be asking for more. He just stands there and waits. Hello! I am at the top of the food chain and my car can squash you. Go away. Be intimidated! Grrrr!!!

No luck. He just stood there watching me a few inches away. I started to get scared he was going to jump in for a ride.

Instead of humiliating myself and conversing tersely with the thing, I reved my engine. He got my drift and ran off.

An Offering of Praise

The Tabernacle had no original instructions for those who ministered through music before the LORD. The instructions in the Bible focus on construction, Levitical function in sacrifices and instruments, and transporting its components as they traveled. But when David prepared for the building of the Temple many years later, he assigned a portion of the Levites as those who would minister to the LORD through music and song (1 Chron 23).

Lately I've been thinking on this transition, and why it was introduced through David as a holy practice in the Temple before God. Some of our earliest memories are of David playing harp for King Saul to sooth his troubled spirit. David authored of many Psalms and danced unashamedly before the Ark as it entered Jerusalem. Music and song were part of his life. Was the introduction of music and praise as work in the Temple David's idea or God's?

"All this," said David, "the LORD made me understand. . ." (1 Chron 28:11, 13, 19 NAS). The reassigning of Levites to work within the Temple was part of the new plan. Music and praise, a common aspect of Israelite life, was now part of the practice of worship in the Temple through Asaph and His sons. Energies would no longer be spent packing and carrying the Tabernacle from place to place, but the LORD would cause His name to dwell in the Temple. Morning and night songs of praise would rise to Him, along with sacrifice.

Dr. Allman, a DTS prof, says that praise is not to be taken lightly. Praise is a statement of faith in the person of God - something that we hold as absolute and should be reflected in our lives. What the sons of Asaph sang would be a statement of faith and worship of the LORD. As a nation they would be accountable in the way they lived out their lives. Word and deed, song and sacrifice, should be equal.

In my life, in my church, are song and sacrifice equal? Is song given without sacrifice? Do I praise by word without living out the same truth? Does my church sing but not act, speak but not practice faith?

Candy Corn Diet & Worship Quote

I have found the perfect diet! A few days ago I ate my weight in candy corn, and it eradicated my appetite for the next 12 hours. I lowered the quantity for the next day, and it did the same thing. Who knew candy corn could be an appetite suppressant?! 

While I am talking about nothing in particular, a new phenomenon has developed as I fall asleep at night. I dream about puppies. Golden retriever puppies. Black lab puppies. Cocker spaniel puppies. Beagle puppies. What is that about?

Worship quote (paraphrase) for the week:

"God is not interested in our innovations to worship... Biblical worship does not ask, What represents our culture best? Biblical worship asks, What best represents who our God is?" 

by Dr. James Allman

Dallas Theological Seminary, BE 103, Fall 2008

A Friend from China

A former student from China came to visit. My boss & his family hosted her, and we had lots of Texas fun! Baking chocolate chip cookies was one of her favorite memories.

Self-Giving God: Presence

I laid in bed peeling layer after layer from my heart and laying it before the Lord. I had grown weary and lonely from the many changes, new job expectations, and separation from friends. What I wouldn't give to have Him wrap His arms around me, to speak truth that would remind me of His closeness.

"I need your personal touch." My quiet and longing request...and the silence continued on. Would I really be on my own this time with such a childish request? Am I foolish to believe that God would care to draw near in the smallest of moments?

Silence.

And the doorbell rang. Surely it's not for me. Over twenty girls live here, and I'm the least social of them all! But the footsteps and the voice came strait to my door.

"Kendra? I'm running out to my car to get my DVD player and just thought of you. Do you want to come to my house and watch a movie? "


God's presence amazes me. While He touches us through people, He is present within Christians as the Holy Spirit. He is our gift (Acts 2:38-39).

In the beginning, He was present with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. "They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day" (Gen 2:8, NAS). Later, though God sent Moses as a deliverer, He presented Himself in their midst in the pillar of cloud and fire. His presence was known. "The LORD was going before them in a pillar of cloud by day to lead them on the way, and in a pillar of fire by night to give them light..." (Exodus 13:21, NAS).

He is also present in His promised Son. Isaiah 7:14 receives fulfillment through the birth of Christ, '"Behold the virgin shall be with child and shall bear a son, and they shall call His name Immanuel," which translated means, "God with us."' (Matthew 1:23 NAS) Jesus, more than a man representing God, is named as God's very presence among men. No prophet, even with the Holy Spirit of God directing him, is given such a name.

I have only to conclude that God's presence is an act of His self-giving nature. What God gives to us is more than a leader, a word, an answered prayer. He has willingly presented Himself throughout history for the benefit of man. What He gives is Himself.

Self-Giving God: Promise

Abraham
Seed of nations
Believed God's Word
For a barren womb


Right faith
Bewildered mind
Stars gave count
For tomorrow's life


Yahweh spoke
Promise of land
Peculiar gift
To a childless man


One child
Many nations
Who shall confirm
To bear condemnation?


Abram slept
God walked through
Torch and pieces
On behalf of you


Covenant
Confirmed alone
The LORD bears all
To bring the nomad home

Have you ever been blessed to have someone act or speak on your behalf? Through a simple act or word, another person can remove the burden that you carry. Instead of your effort and work, someone else takes responsibility to see the results come through.

This is what God did on Abram's behalf. While there was no son yet to Abram, God promised that He would be the father of children as countless as the stars. Abram "believed in the LORD" and it was credited as righteousness (Genesis 15:6, NAS).

God also promised land. Already populated, God would have to be the driving force to make this promise come true. Abram asked God to confirm His word. The Lord did so in a covenant ritual of the time. Sacrifice was made, and the animal split into two. Those making the covenant would walk between the sacrificial pieces, symbolizing what could be done to them if they failed to come through with their agreement.

As the covenant was made, Abram fell into a deep sleep. This left God alone as the responsible party to walk between the pieces. On behalf of Abram, God was giving full assurance that it would be He who gave this land to the descendants of Abram.

We do see God come through on this promise in the books of Exodus through Joshua. Without God's leading, the descendants of Abraham were unable to secure the Promised Land and be the people from whom the Messiah would come.

A torch of hope, God personally acted on Abram's behalf to secure such a great promise.

Copyright by Kendra Hinkle 2008.